Wednesday, December 22, 2010

The ultimate triumph..

“ Setiap yang bernyawa akan merasakan kematian.
Dan hanya pada hari kiamat sahajalah diberikan dengan sempurna balasanmu.
Barang siapa yang dijauhkan dari neraka dan dimasukan ke dalam syurga,
sungguh, dia memperoleh kemenangan.
Kehidupan dunia hanyalah kesenangan yang memperdaya.”

Ali Imran (3) : 185

Monday, December 20, 2010

i got it bad, some got it worse..

Some people got it bad
Some people got it worse
Since the day of the birth
Everyday end of earth
Live to die another day
Sure I say “congratulations”
But désolé
If the roof should come down today
Rest assure I’m there to wipe away the dirt with pure intention
Some corrupt
Brought a lil bag of hope
What’s up ?

Some got it bad, some got it worse
Life can sometimes look like a curse
So I cry my heart out, Let it all go
Cuz after every rainfall must come a rainbow.

..(outlandish-after every rainfall must come a rainbow)..

who knew?

Who knew we would end up in a place so confused.
where lil boys wanna be like lil girls and lil girls just wanna be abused.
where it terrorizes the truth.
mentally arrest the youth.
eventhough there is no law but Allah's and mama didnt raise no fool !

and who knew?
that expecting the world would treat you fairly because you think you're a good person,
would be a little like expecting a bull not to attack you because you're a vegetarian.


life's never fair isn't it?
and do not ever think that you could play around with someone's heart and dump it in the drain just like that without even a slight taste of responsibility.
you pick at karma enuf and she'll stop by and say hi.
just wait and see.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Býr til regnboga..

" Cause verily, it is in the remembrance of Allah that hearts do find rest "


Bakvið skýjaból vaknar sól úr dvala
Svalar sér við kalda dropa regnsins
Leikur sér við heita loga eldsins
Býr til regnboga


Behind a vessel of clouds,
A sun wakes up from its lethargy.
Refreshes itself with some little raindrops.
Plays with the hot flames of the fire.
Makes rainbows.

-Sigur Ros, Hafssol-

Friday, December 17, 2010

At the speed of light..

" He who would learn to fly one day must first learn to stand and walk and run and climb and dance;
one cannot fly into flying. "


i watched Rapunzel with my friends few days before.
it was really meaningful and entertaining.
up until the lantern part.
i couldn't hold it in anymore. i broke down immediately. tears fell down drip by drip.
i dont know why,
that scene touched my my heart tenderly.
so many feelings running through my soul.
i thought i could really stand back on my feet this time, but i fell down again for the hundredth time.
felt better after letting it all out. like a strength suddenly rushing through those tiny little pierced space inside my heart and enlightens it with hope.
it was so inspirational feeling it.
pushing me harder towards my dream in life.
to hell with all these problems imma go back on track and work harder like never before.
i'll make that dream come true. someday.
im gonna fly.


لا حول ولاقوة إلا بالله

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Absolute embarking..

"Peace originates with the flow of things – its heart is like the movement of the wind and waves. The Way is like the veins that circulate blood through our bodies, following the natural flow of the life force. If you are seperated in the slightest from that divine essence, you are far off the path."


It's about you and your relationship to God, yourself, your family and friends.

Everything starts within your soul..
Once the intention is wrong from the very beginning,
You'll be slipping off far from the origin.
And you'll find yourself lost in the middle of the journey.
you give up.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

so bequeath on a traceable trail..

Life's short
Lavish on others what you have.
Be it money, knowledge, or love.

Dream big.
Give your everything to the world.
Do something in your life that people would remember and thank you.
Leave on something precious before you finally go forever.

someday, somehow, somewhere,
everyone would surely have to taste death.

Before that time comes,
Do your best, do your very best.

قَالَ رَسُوْلُ اللهِ :إِذَا مَاتَ ابْنُ ﺁدَمَ انْقَطَعَ عَمَلُهُ إِلاَّ مِنْ ثَلاَثٍ:صَدَقَتٍ جَارِيَةٍ,أَوْعِلْمٍ يُنْتَفَعُ بِهِ,أَوْوَلَدٍ صَالِحٍ يَدْعُوْلَهُ. رَوَاهُ مُسْلِمٌ
"Apabila mati seorang anak Adam, putuslah amalnya melainkan tiga perkara, yaitu : sedekah wakaf, ilmu yang digunakan orang dan anaknya yang baik yang mendoa'akan dia."

Just like this picture.
Capturing it is just within a few blink of an eye.
But in that brief period of time.
We can see just how much it can be an impact for us.
Shouldn't life be like that ?

Saturday, December 11, 2010

were meant to make you stronger..

Life is by design, full of trails and obstacles, some in which we have control; others are by no fault or action of our own

Know what makes you special. The people that survive beyond life's hardships, have this incredible instinct,
power to keep going on, even when the sky gets dark, thunder appears, and lightning circled around you.
Survivors never quits, they magically finds something within, and make the necessary decisions to carry on in the most difficult times.
Persist even when it hurts.


Hadis riwayat Ibnu Abbas ra.: Bahwa Nabi saw. ketika tertimpa Kesusahan, beliau berdoa: “Tidak ada Tuhan selain Allah Yang Maha Agung lagi Maha Penyantun, tidak ada Tuhan selain Allah Tuhan Yang Memiliki Arsy nan Agung, tidak ada Tuhan selain Allah Tuhan segenap langit, Tuhan bumi serta Tuhan Arsy nan Mulia”. (Shahih Muslim No.4909)

Add Image

Friday, December 10, 2010

Can i really hold on to it ?

Promise, engagement, agreement, bond, contract, espousal, guarantee, covenant, marriage, parole, swear, etc..


are they different?
maybe from the way it is done.
but it's all just different labels
to describe :

" An assurance that one will do something or that something will happen. "

so you're saying
we shouldn't feel so frustrated or hurt because its just a promise.
not an engagement, or a contract.

but i have a question,
what are the differences between all of them when u can still break each one of it?

Don't talk the talk if you cant walk it.

وَأَوْفُوا بِالْعَهْدِ إِنَّ الْعَهْدَ كَانَ مَسْئُوْلاً

“Dan penuhilah janji, sesungguhnya janji itu pasti dimintai pertanggungjawabannya.” (Al-Isra`: 34)

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Silence is..

"Flowers are restful to look at. They have neither emotions nor conflicts."

Take a look around. See the beauty of His creations.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

orewa yurusaretai desu..

it kills to know that the person you love does not love you back.
it hurts so damn much. more than you can imagine.
like a stab in deep through your chest. or even worse.
you fall apart, for the hundredth time.
you love this person with all your heart.
they hurt you worse than you've ever been hurt.

well guess what..

thats what we do everyday to Allah..
He loves us so much, no words can describe it.
we still forget Him in our daily routines.
sunk deep into the trap of this world full of lies deceit.
we believe those fools.
we make them our idols.
we follow them blindly.
how do you think Allah would feel like?
we forgot that this world is just a stop. a sojourn.
we forgot that death can come knocking anytime.
we forgot that we're gonna meet Him,
face to face in the afterlife.
We forgot that He's gonna question us,
for every single thing we do in our life.
on that day.
how many of us will regret not being truly in love with Him before?
do we still think that we deserve all the pleasures in this world he gave us?

Forgive my sins.


"O Lord, grant me your love, grant me that I love those who love you; grant me, that I might do the deeds that win your love. Make your love dearer to me than the love of myself, my family and wealth." (Tirmidhi)

Wednesday, December 1, 2010


Left rotting alone.


Tuesday, November 30, 2010

wishing i had strength to stand..

Flying at the speed of light,
Thoughts were spinning in my head,
So many things were left unsaid,

i know how it feels to lie,
All i wanna do is trade this life for something new,
Holding on to what i haven't got..


cuba untuk berdiri walaupun sukar,
cuba untuk mengerti hikmahNya..
La Hawla Wala Quwwata Illa Billah..

Sunday, November 28, 2010

smaller than atoms..

and before that you were a tiny ball of flesh without any bones,

and now look behold,

you have the arrogance to assume that you just made it on your own ?

but what were you but a chewed piece of clot before you grew..



picture shot by a new family member, canon 550D. =)

Friday, November 26, 2010

For a minor reflection..

" By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest. "


When we're going too fast in our life, everything starts to feel dull and meaningless.
Sometimes, we just need to stop, stare, and think..
that life is just so wonderful..

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Give your stress wings and let it fly away..

" The time to relax is when you don't have time for it. "
~Attributed to both Jim Goodwin and Sydney J. Harris

i would..

i'd do anything..
to even see you smile to me..

Tuesday, November 23, 2010


“The road of life twists and turns and no two directions are ever the same. Yet our lessons come from the journey, not the destination.”

- Don Williams, Jr.-


So if you complain that God must be cruel,
Can you give Allah all that he gives to you,

From the breath that you breathe,
to the trees that you feed,
From the eyes that you see to the sea that you eat,
If i cut you, you bleed then you heal magically,

even the birds sing His name.

Allah 'Azza Wajalla..

"Boona Mohammed - signs"

Look through your heart..
and you'll see the signs of Him..

Monday, November 22, 2010

look through his glasses,
and you'll see all the pain and regrets,
He's been going through..

So hold on,
the weight of the world,
will give you the strength to go..

it all ends..

Worry ends when faith begins..

Sunday, November 21, 2010

But you..

Deep inside I know

That amidst all the darkness

And everything, which makes no sense

I know that you exist

You are the light

That guides me through my darkest nights

That shows me right from wrong in life

In a world that often lies


Thursday, November 18, 2010

truth kills..

ignorance is bliss..
curiosity killed the cat..
now i'm beginning to understand more of these proverbs..

but i cant help it..
i'm curious..
i'd rather die in agony knowing the truth than live happily with lies..
and this curiosity itself killed me from inside..
killing me to know every single detail about it..

today, another ugly truth was revealed..
and i'm not sure how am i gonna live with it..
and i'm not sure who to trust anymore..

i know its my fault all along the way since the beginning..
hard to accept this awful truth..
hard to stop these tears of regrets..

Allah, give me strength.
make me strong.
Forgive my sins.
take me away.
put me into your Jannah.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Sacrifices.. Eid Al-Adha..

Happy EidulAdha to everyone..
a day of remembrance full of lessons to be learned..
the art of letting go..
called sacrifice..

its hard to let go of something we would die to keep it..
but Allah will always replace it with something better in His own ways..
so dont be afraid..
He's always with us all the time..

location : Masjid Negeri, Shah Alam.
1st time x balik raya kat kampung..


there's a reason why i choose you..
out of billions of others..
there's a reason why i cant let you go..
not that i want to..
there's a reason why i never opened up myself for anyone else..

there's a reason why i'm letting myself to be so vulnerable to you..

there's a reason why i'm acting all silly..

there's a reason why god gave me a pair of shoulders..

there's always a reason for everything..
so hold on..
i'm always here..

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

i need you..

where are you..
i'm waiting for you..
you wont leave me alone through the path right?
i need you in this journey..

Sunday, November 14, 2010

So Long Lonesome..

i wasn't this weak before..
my lord show me right from wrong..
give me light make me strong..
make me strong..

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Happy Birthday

Happy 23rd birthday my dear brother. May Allah bless you and give you more days. =)

Friday, October 29, 2010

makhluk bernama " Kawan "

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Sapa lagi kuat?

life is never easy..
we choose to live..
life is but a choice..
decision is never easy..
so pray to Allah that he'll always guide us through those decisions..

sapa lagi kuat?
org yg boleh lawan berpuluh org ?
org yg bleh angkat benda 10 kali berat ?

physical strength is useless without mental strength.
if you're strong mentally, you can be 100 times stronger physically..

so are you strong enuf?

Saturday, October 2, 2010

لا حول ولاقوة إلا بالله

A Palestinian Brother - Crying Tears of Sorrow by Muslim Friend

La Hawla Wala Quwwata Illa Billah merupakan khazanah daripada khazanah-khazanah syurga, ia merupakan penyembuh untuk 99 jenis penyakit, sekurang-kurangnya penyakit dukacita, kesedihan dan kerisauan.

Berkata Abdullah bin Masoud r.a, pernah seketika beliau bersama Rasulullah SAW dan dia mengucapkan La Hawla Wala Quwwata Illa Billah. "Baginda SAW bertanya:"Apakah kamu mengetahui maksudnya?", "Aku menjawab: Hanya Allah dan RasulNya yang mengetahui"

Baginda SAW menerangkan maksudnya:"Ia bermakna tidak ada sesiapa yang mempunyai daya keupayaan untuk memelihara dirinya daripada menderhakai Allah melainkan dengan pertolongan dan perlindungan dari Allah, dan tidak ada sesiapapun mempunyai daya keupayaan untuk mentaati dan beribadat kepada Allah tanpa bantuan dan petunjuk daripada Allah.

Tidak ada daya keupayaan untuk mengelak daripada menderhakai Allah melainkan dengan perlindungan dan pertolongan Allah dan tidak ada daya keupayaan untuk mentaati dan menyembah Allah melainkan dengan pertolongan dan petunjuk daipadaNya, dan tidak ada tempat perteduhan yang selamat daripada kemurkaan Allah melainkan Allah"


A young man was jailed and his mother had no one else but him. She could not sleep and distress took hold of her completely. She wept until she could weep no more, then Allah guided her to say, La Hawla Wa La Quwwata Illa Billah (There is no power and strength except with AllahSubhanahu wa Ta'ala). She repeated these great words which are one of the treasures of paradise, and only a few days after she had despaired of her son ever coming out of jail, he was knocking at the door and she was filled with joy. Such is the reward of one who puts his trust in AllahSubhanahu wa Ta'ala, calls upon HimSubhanahu wa Ta'alaconstantly and delegates all his affairs to Him. So you should recite this Zikr, ''La Hawla Wa La Quwwata Illa Billah'' (There is no power and strength except with AllahSubhanahu wa Ta'ala). For these great words are the secret of happiness and success. Recite them a great deal, chase away the specters of grief and distress with them, and receive the glad tidings that AllahSubhanahu wa Ta'alawill soon grant you happiness and a way out. Beware of losing hope or becoming frustrated, for there is no hardship but it is followed by ease. This is how it has always been and there is no need to discuss it. Think positively of Allah, the Exalted, and put your trust in HimSubhanahu wa Ta'ala; seek that which is with HimSubhanahu wa Ta'ala, and wait for a way out.

Fi Aminillah

Read more:


-The following is a true story-

Since I was born I suffered from Exema on my hands and arms and now I am 22 years of age and still suffering from such disease. Alhamdulelah it goes for a while but it comes back infected and inflamed.

I always looked around me and saw other people's hands and arms in perfect condition and I would go back home and cry so much that my tears would feel a bucket. I was bullied so much in Secondary School because of my Exema and I was treated like dirt and abused because of my belief in Islam. One day in class I cried for over an hour my eyes stung because of the class saying abusive things to me and the teacher did NOTHING because he hated my faith which was apparent.

Since I was small I always held the Quran each night and begged Allah for my suffering to end. Even as I write this my eyes are full of tears.

As I grew up my passion to marry grew. I always wanted to have a child to raise for the mercy of Allah. But because of my suffering from Exema that always stopped me from marrying.

One day in College I saw a really beautiful Sister in Hijab from Lebanon (I think) and I wanted to marry her, but because of my Exema I thought she would not want to even look at me. By Allah, through Halal ways she rejected me which I feel in my heart was because of my hands.

I feel so alone sometimes. I suffer SO much that I cannot go outside unless my sleeves of my shirt cover most of my hands. I cannot make Salat in the Masjid without worrying that someone is going to look at my hands and not want to shake them or that they will give me a bad look. I cannot eat outside or be with my friends without feeling worried that they are going to see my hands.

When I do Wudu with water, my hands sting so much I cry. After Wudu I will make my Salat trying to blot out the pain that I am going through with my hands.

I feel no Muslim Sister will ever marry me but I try to keep strong about it. My only wife I want is a wife of Paradise. I wish I was with Prophet Ayub (AS) as he suffered alot and I would not feel alone as he would be with me worshiping Allah.

My only dream now is to work hard and to die only for Allah.

Please Brothers and Sisters of Islam make Du'a for me and for all Muslims suffering from illness's that they keep strong.

I take this as a blessing from Allah as Allah tests those whom he truly loves.

About three year ago I was sinking into severe depression. I was suffering so much and everything was just sinking deeper and deeper. I would stay up every night just worshipping Allah, begging him for mercy and help.I really thought that Allah abandoned me and hated me.

Then one summer was a summer I would never forget. For six weeks in a row I had dreams that words would never be able to describe in 100% detail.

The dreams are too much to mention. But one of the first was when I was standing on a red land, and then two Muslim men with large dark beards approached me. They asked me do I want to see Hell? I said to them yes. They smiled and I then followed them.

In front of me was like a Hugh head with a wide open mouth. I can still picture this in my mind but I can never really describe it as it was so detailed. We went through its mouth and in it were all types of chambers of black fire. I saw people lying on their bellies on beds of spikes penetrating though their bodies while they were screaming.

Another chamber I saw people being crushed again and again in fire.

Another I saw their limbs being pulled off.

After a few more chambers we left and one of the Muslim's said to me, "Is your life worse than what you saw?" I said, "By Allah, no."

The best dream is of Prophet Muhammad (salla Allaahu 'alayhi wa salaam). In the dream I was sitting in a dark room crying. Suddenly a gold door appeared in front of me. The door said to me, "Don't cry and come inside."

When I went in, I was in such a beautiful garden. There were all sorts of flowers and different coloured streams of water and honey. I heard laughing and talking further on, so I walked through this garden, and each step I took the garden just got more beautiful and different in colour. I saw a really bright gold table with food I have never seen before on this table. There were sweets and different shapes of fruit on the table. There were also crystal cups with drinks with at least 100 different shades of colour.

Sitting around the table were all extremely handsome looking Muslims. I saw one Muslim holding a staff in his right hand so I was thinking that could be Musa ('AlyheeSalaam), and then another Muslim I saw with long wavy hair with pearls falling from his head, so I was thinking that was 'Isa ('AlyheeSalaam). There were at least 100 Muslims around this table. At the head of the table a Muslim turned around and faced me. Mashahallah I will never forget his face. His eyes were darker than black pearls and there was a beautiful light shining from his face. As he smiled at me I felt this warmth and this sweet smelling musk go over my body.

He said Salam to me and called me by my full name. I asked him who he was. He said, "I am the final Messenger of Allah and my name is Muhammad Ibn Abdullallah (salla Allaahu 'alayhi wa salaam). I want you to sit next to me."

A gold chair appeared next to him so I sat there facing him. He took my hand in his hand. It felt so warm and nice. He said something that even made me cry in my sleep. He said, "Dont cry because of the hardships of this life. Cry for the forgiveness of Allah. Don't cry and feel sad for Allah will never leave you alone to suffer. He is with the believer who calls his name. He smiles to the believer who repents. He loves the believer who runs to him in struggle. And on The Day that is coming, you will see how much love and comfort He gives to those Muslims who suffered for Him."

I closed my eyes and then I woke up with tears all down my face.


The Meaning Of La Hawla Wala Quwwata Illa Billah

By Imam Abdullah Ibn ‘Alawi Al-Haddad

(Original Source:


You should know that the most comprehensive and inclusive formula for expressing the repudiation of one’s own claim to power and ability is La hawla wala quwawata illa billah (there is neither power nor ability save by God).

The Proof of Islam (Imam al-Ghazali), may God be pleased with him, said: “Power (hawl) is motion and ability (quwwa) is aptitude.”

No creature possesses either ability or power over anything save through God, Who is Able and Capable. It is incumbent upon believers to have faith in whatever God permits them to do or abstain from – as for instance, in conforming to an injunction, whether by acting or abstaining, or in seeking their provision by resorting to action in the form of crafts and professions, and so on – it is God the exalted Who creates and originates their intentions, abilities and movements, and that the acts they choose to perform will be attributed to them in the manner known as ‘acquisition’ (kasb) and ‘working’, and shall be, in consequence, liable to reward and punishment; but that they exercise volition only when God Himself does so, and can neither do nor abstain from anything unless He renders them able to. They possess not a single atom’s weight of the heaven or the earth, nor do they attain to any partnership in its governance, or become supports to Him.

It is on the ability and power to make choices, which God has granted to His servants, that commands and prohibitions are based. Things which are done intentionally and by choice are attributed to them, and they are rewarded and punished accordingly.

Hence the meaning of la hawla wala quwwata illa billah is the denial of one’s possession of autonomous power and ability, and the simultaneous confession of the existence of that (relative) power and ability to make choices that He has given His servants to be their own.

He who claims that man has no choice or ability, that the acts he selects are identical with the acts he is compelled to do, and that he is in all circumstances coerced is a deterministic (jabri) innovator whose false claim would deny that there was any purpose in sending Messengers and revealing Scriptures. By contrast, he who claims that man possesses the will and power to do whatever he does by choice is a Mu’tazili innovator. But he who believes that a responsible (mukallaf) man possess power and choice to allow him to comply with God’s commands and prohibitions, but is neither independent thereby nor the creator of his own acts, has found the Sunna, joined the majoritarian community, and become safe from reprehensible innovation. There is a lengthy explanation to this, which follows a rugged road where many have slipped and gone astray; and beyond it is the secret of Destiny, which has always perplexed intelligent minds and into which the Master of Messengers has commanded us not to delve. So let the intelligent be content with hints and let it suffice them to believe that everything was created by God, and nothing exists without His will and power. Then let them require their selves to conform to the commandments and prohibitions, and take their Lord’s side against their selves in every circumstance. A hadith says that is one of the treasures of the Garden.’ Understand the indication contained in terming it a ‘treasure’ and you will know that its meaning is among the mysteries; for reward is of the same species as the act. The Prophet s.a.w has also said ‘Two raka’ats in the depths of the night are one of the treasures of goodness.’ Their reward comprises a hidden treasure because the time of their occurence, namely the night implies this.

It is also reported that ‘La hawla wala quwwata illa billah is a remedy for 99 ailments, the least of which is sorrow.’ It is a remedy for sorrow because grief mostly occurs when one misses something one loves, or when a distressful thing occurs; and whenever either of these things occurs people perceive their helplessness and inability to achieve their desired aims; hence they feel sorrow. If at such times they repeat in their heart and with their tongues words which mean that they disavow the possession of any ability or power of their own, then this gives them certitude in their knowledge that they are helpless and weak except where God gives them power and ability, with the result that their sorrow is banished, and their knowledge of their Lord is increased. This can be clearly understood from the Prophet’s s.a.w saying: ‘When one believes in destiny, one’s sorrow departs.’ And in attributing ability and power to His Name, Allah, which is the axis of the Names and the most supreme of them, and in following it on most occasions with the two noble Names which indicate two of the attributes of the Holy Essence, namly those of Exaltation (Al-’Ali) and Magnitude (Al-’Azim), lies a sign that He totally transcends and is absolutely holier than the illusions of those who have strayed from the path, are blind to the evidence, and have delved without insight into the secret of destiny and the acts of God’s creatures. So take heed!

- Imam Abdullah Ibn ‘Alawi Al-Haddad

in ‘Gifts for the Seeker’

Translated from the Arabic by Mostafa Al-Badawi

Publisher credit: Fons Vitae

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

aku merayu padamu

hard to wait for that rainbow..
killing me inside.
cant stand it anymore..

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Eid Mubarak

Salam Hari Raya Maaf Zahir dan Batin. :)
Aidulfitri 2010

Tuesday, September 14, 2010


bangun tidur di pagi yg mendung. seakan-akan awan pun memahami perasaan aku.
talking about feelings, i've just got back from my hometown. 1 month semester break.
seems like quite a long time for a holiday. indeed it is. sebulan yg plg f.up dlm hidup aku. i hate to tell my problems to people. tp mungkin dah terlalu byk yg aku simpan sendiri. driller hilang, laptop org curi, kereta remuk kena langgar, yuran semester yg x tertanggung. what more could you ask for? ujian yg sungguh berat Allah bg kat aku. feels like ive been punished for something really bad.. but im lucky enough for those things to happen in Ramadhan. sahabat2 Rasulullah dulu pun diuji dgn ujian yg sgt berat dlm bulan Ramadhan.

i will survive.
duit3. masalah2 manusia suma dtg dari duit. i guess not everybody in this world are lucky enough to grasp onto their dreams easily in this world. bg u all yg rasa x dak masalah utk graduate dr uni masing2, be grateful. u never know how it feels like to be in my shoes.

apa jenis kolej la yg aku masuk ni. i dont blame the lecturers. they did an amazing job and i love em all. thanks to em i got to know where my future would be at. raya standard cuti 2 hari ja. zzz. 1 malaysia!! zzz
raya pun dah macam x raya. idk lah. i dont have anywhere for me to call home. a home which means a place i can feel comfortable enough to be at. a place that accepts me for who i am. family? well i know that they love me more than the world itself. but, living with perfectionists and other conservative family relatives, its kind of a sin to be myself and a little open minded. forcing me to be someone else im not.

"why try so hard to fit in, when you were clearly ment to stand out"?

friends? idk. i dont think i have any so called 'bff'. makan sorang, tidoq sorang, harap2 aku x mati sorang2 nanti.... what a lonely world im livin in
lone ranger. yea thats what my lecturer describes me.
gf? hahah. siapalah aku untuk kamu.....
i came to realize that i am subconsciously playing an antagonist role in my life's story. you know those typical dramas. i'd say most of their characteristics would fit in perfectly to me. and that makes me a bad guy? well bad guy it is. bad guys sometimes are much more cooler than the hero. hahah. so beware of me !

oh well byk mana pun masalah aku aku still ada Allah. the only home for me.
hmm this may be the last post that speaks about my problems. felt stupid talking about this. ahh dont care lah.

layan dulu sblm leave..

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

So Long Lonesome

kesian kat blog ni. lama x update...

HEADS UP!! More posts coming soon !

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Where have you been all my life?..

Post-rock gave a very deep impact on my life..

Or is it perhaps the lack of words that allows me to feel whatever i desire to take from this music...

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

The last sunset..

The last sunset for my 19th year. I have lived for 19 years in this world. Am i living the life of a great successful muslim? How much have i learned from those gifted years from Allah? Am i thankful and grateful enough to live this chosen life for me? pondering about these questions made me realize, i'm very far from being a good muslim. Far from perfections for there are full of imperfections in this soul. But that ain't stopping me from trying. That ain't holding me back from striving to be better everyday for that's Islam's way of life. Today is better than yesterday and tomorrow is better than today. I cried in the middle of nights hoping that the tears would wash away the sins i've did in the past. Its too much that i cant even face Him. All i ever wanted in my life is to be forgiven. Come what may but until THAT day greets me, i'll never stop trying..


pics taken by HTC touch viva at Kuala Perlis.

Monday, May 3, 2010

A place for my soul

The night was so quiet and peaceful. In this night, a few souls from a dying society gathered inside the circles of faith and wisdom. talking about their 1 and only objective in their life.
these circles were one of the main sources of their strength. they recited the most beautiful words in the world and they prayed to HIM. they prayed so that their sojourn in this world will not be futile. This awareness that they have, are what they're very grateful for. It is what makes them so different from the others. This is where they belong. This is where I belong..

-Masjid Putra, Putrajaya-