bangun tidur di pagi yg mendung. seakan-akan awan pun memahami perasaan aku. talking about feelings, i've just got back from my hometown. 1 month semester break. seems like quite a long time for a holiday. indeed it is. sebulan yg plg f.up dlm hidup aku. i hate to tell my problems to people. tp mungkin dah terlalu byk yg aku simpan sendiri. driller hilang, laptop org curi, kereta remuk kena langgar, yuran semester yg x tertanggung. what more could you ask for? ujian yg sungguh berat Allah bg kat aku. feels like ive been punished for something really bad.. but im lucky enough for those things to happen in Ramadhan. sahabat2 Rasulullah dulu pun diuji dgn ujian yg sgt berat dlm bulan Ramadhan.
i will survive. duit3. masalah2 manusia suma dtg dari duit. i guess not everybody in this world are lucky enough to grasp onto their dreams easily in this world. bg u all yg rasa x dak masalah utk graduate dr uni masing2, be grateful. u never know how it feels like to be in my shoes.
apa jenis kolej la yg aku masuk ni. i dont blame the lecturers. they did an amazing job and i love em all. thanks to em i got to know where my future would be at. raya standard cuti 2 hari ja. zzz. 1 malaysia!! zzz raya pun dah macam x raya. idk lah. i dont have anywhere for me to call home. a home which means a place i can feel comfortable enough to be at. a place that accepts me for who i am. family? well i know that they love me more than the world itself. but, living with perfectionists and other conservative family relatives, its kind of a sin to be myself and a little open minded. forcing me to be someone else im not.
"why try so hard to fit in, when you were clearly ment to stand out"?
friends? idk. i dont think i have any so called 'bff'. makan sorang, tidoq sorang, harap2 aku x mati sorang2 nanti.... what a lonely world im livin in lone ranger. yea thats what my lecturer describes me. gf? hahah. siapalah aku untuk kamu..... i came to realize that i am subconsciously playing an antagonist role in my life's story. you know those typical dramas. i'd say most of their characteristics would fit in perfectly to me. and that makes me a bad guy? well bad guy it is. bad guys sometimes are much more cooler than the hero. hahah. so beware of me !
oh well byk mana pun masalah aku aku still ada Allah. the only home for me. hmm this may be the last post that speaks about my problems. felt stupid talking about this. ahh dont care lah.